I read the news about Google Public DNS, and I must say that the first thing I did was to check if Google bought OpenDNS. Well they did not, and  guess that was a really bad news for them. In fact they quickly reacted to the new threat in OpenDNS Blog.

Since everyone’s dream is a job at Google, I thought it will help me to get one, if I would help Google to create another new product.

So here it is:

Introducing Google Toilet Paper – Gpaper

When you wipe your buttocks, you expect nothing less than to clean it. Chances are you’re not giving much thought to the work being done in the background by the Toilet Paper.

Today, as part of our ongoing effort to make the toilets faster, we’re launching our own public Toilet Paper service called Gpaper, and we invite you to try it out.

Google Toilet Paper

The average toilets user ends up performing hundreds of buttocks wiping each day, and some complex situations require multiple toilet rolls before all your poo is gone. This can slow down the wiping experience. Our research has shown that speed matters to toilets users, so over the past several months our engineers have been working to make improvements to our Toilet Paper service to make users’ buttocks wiping experiences faster, safer and more reliable. You can read about the specific technical improvements we’ve made in our product documentation and get installation instructions from our product website.

If you’re toilets-savvy and comfortable with changing your Toilet Paper settings, check out the Google Code Blog for detailed instructions and more information on how to set up Gpaper on your own toilets.

As people begin to use Gpaper, we plan to share what we learn with the broader toilets community and other Toilet Paper providers, to improve the wiping experience for toilets users globally. The goal of Gpaper is to benefit users worldwide while also helping the tens of thousands of Toilet Paper providers improve their services, ultimately making the buttocks wiping faster for everyone.

Posted by Chen Levkovich, a future Product Manager in Google

Disclaimer: This post is fictional and do not mean to hurt any individual working at OpenDNS, or the Toilet Paper industry.

Ah! and of course no one at Google